Today.
Today was the day I actually felt nerves brewing within my body. My heart was pounding—fast, the kind of fast that startles you, making you wonder what is going on internally. The kind of fast that nearly takes your breath away. At one point I wanted to cry.
I will be leaving for Nassau, The Bahamas in exactly one month. ONE. Month. Just there after I’ll be off to Sunderland, England for a semester of studying.
I am scared. I am scared of the things that will change when I come back. Don’t get me wrong, I love change, and I love being changed (in a good, honorable, under God way), but I’m scared my friendships will drift. My roommates & possibly my friends will move on—my life in a different understanding than theirs, our interests may be no longer of any coincidence, our hearts may be in different places.
I’m scared I won’t know what I should about the Bible. It’s always been such a hard thing for me to do, understanding the Bible. I know it’s a common thing amongst many Christians, but the pressure is on. It’s only this past year I’ve actually been able to read the Bible, get it, and relate it to my life.
I am scared my heart won’t be changed. I know this won’t happen because God sent me to Nassau for a reason, but I need to remember that I must be still and know that He is God. I need to trust in God and his abilities, I need to see Him in all I do. He is God.
I am scared about coming back to the States and not knowing what to do. What will I do. I’ve always been an advocate for serving our community, that’s what my heart longs for. I’ll keep my head stuck in volunteer work, try to grow, and try to help people grow.
I am allowed to be scared, right?
Yet, I am joyful. I. am. Joyful.
My heart has been aching for this opportunity for a long time. God is so good in providing for his work. I am joyful I will be working for God this summer.
Pray for myself & Mission Discovery
